i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
