Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
