remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
