I'm eating all of the evidence.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
