I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
