I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
