why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He shit in the fireplace
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
