Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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