I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
