i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
