i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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