Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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