Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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