I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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