maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
