I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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