Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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