I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
