I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
