All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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