i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think I am morally bankrupt
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
