I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We have so much sex to catch up on
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
