is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
