I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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