fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
