We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
last night I used snow as a chaser
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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