She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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