Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
