she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
