Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
should my penis look like a turkey
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Someone signed my nipple.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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