8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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