Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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