I want to have your abortion
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
