she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this will be a night to untag.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
