have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm bleeding and have questions
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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