You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
