I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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