she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
