Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
