You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
