just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
