i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
