If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
