This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
