at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize