Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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