Umm I'm too high to move.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
