I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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