woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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