i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
