well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
