STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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