Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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