she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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