You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
