I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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