I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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